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If you are like me you have received a mountain of 'well meaning' advice regarding your career: what you should or should not do, do better, do more, or keep doing but just not so much. Perhaps there is a gem or two that truly made a positive impact to get you to that next level of professional self - fulfillment.
In the Health and Wellness Industry we are we faced with a variety of irrationality from so many areas, sometimes bordering on downright crazy, so I have found this little phrase from my Dad to help me to face the situation more objectively and to coach teams to do so as well:
Don't try to be rational with an irrational person".
HOW do you deal with the person exhibiting irrational behavior when you don't have the luxury of just ignoring or walking away? ... If the buck stops with you here are the 4 R's that have been the most helpful to keep in mind and to use to train younger front line staff: REMOVE, RESPECT, REPEAT, RESOLVE
1) Remove the individual away from public view- don't let the drama play out in public! Not only bad for business, but when a person who feels wronged is acting the irrationally in front of an audience others may chime in only to elevate the situation
2) Respect the person and let them vent- you are away from public view, just listen, don't get defensive or argumentative; remember they are not being rational right now so it is a waste of breath giving them a brilliant defense (even if you are RIGHT). Remember, they are your member/ client and deserve to be heard. Yes, it would be nice if they could have some manners about it right now, but you can vent about it later with your pals.
3) Repeat in your head (as they are venting) "this reaction is not about me, my staff, or my business. It is not personal"- as long as the person does not get threatening or physical (at that point, game over call the cops and move on!) this is a temporary irrational expression on their part, most likely a overreaction due to other stressors in their life. However there is something about your business that lit the fuse, so listen up!
4) Resolve their issue on some level immediately - people want to be heard and validated; if they feel brushed off, patronized or ignored then the irrationality increases and could very well lead to a worse outcome (like a lawsuit! I've been there....). If you can resolve the issue immediately then do so; If further action is needed on your part first (talk to other staff members, etc) to resolve, at least tell them and mean it that you are sorry for what has occurred and the inconvenience/stress it has caused them. Then commit to follow up with them by x with a go forward solution, and then conclude with asking if that will work for them (critical to get the buy in that they are ok with this process or they may go home, stew and get angrier).
Then make sure you do follow up as you promised; even if the outcome is not exactly what they hoped for, if they usually can control their behavior then the irrational outburst at this point has mellowed and it will be appreciated that you took their concerns seriously, and reached some sort of conclusion.
so don't let the crazies get to you-- remember Dad's are usually right :)
Nice to see you blogging, Joyce! That's some good advice. Now, what do you do when the irrational person isn't a customer, but someone you work with?
ReplyDeleteGREAT question! Although the content of the conversation will most likely be different it is actually the same process:
ReplyDelete1) You want to REMOVE them to a private place away from members and other staff.
2) RESPECT them enough to hear them out. Although they may lack the maturity to express themselves in the most constructive manner, there is most likely a legitimate gripe that you want to hear and resolve fast, before it explodes all over your members and other staff!
3) REPEAT in your head that it is not about you, so you can keep your 'manager face on' and deal with the situation as constructively as possible, not allowing your buttons pushed in the process. Now if they have moved from irrational to crazy town and are being completely inappropriate (threatening, cursing, etc) then send them home immediately and let them know you will follow up with them by tomorrow (either with a plan to meet with HR support or with a thank-you for your services your final check is in the mail!)
4) RESOLVE on some level immediately. Staff, like members want to know they have been heard and you value them! With staff it usually is a long term situation that has been festering and you will not be able to completely address their concern in that moment. So you will probably say something like:
"Mary, I can see that you are really upset about X and I am glad that we are talking about it now. While I knew there were some concerns regarding X I did not realize that the situation had reached such a level to get you this upset and I hope in the future you will come to me sooner when things are bothering you, This kind of reaction does not create a good environment for members, other staff, or us, and I need this business to operate in the most productive manner possible." and then say: "Can you agree?" VERY important to get the buy in.
In the end unless you are dealing with a chronically irrational employee and it is the end of the line, encourage them to be part of the solution and your partner in resolving the situation. They will appreciate it if you make sure you follow through!
This is very good advice that can even be used in many social situations. I look forward to your next column
ReplyDeleteThank you! I will.
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